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Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for Liverpool set off on marathon trip to Atletico Madrid
Giant bees could yet be used to ferry the Liverpool squad to and from their European game

Liverpool have begun their 1,200-mile journey to Spain for Thursday's Europa League semi-final with Atletico Madrid, on camels.

With the volcanic ash cloud continuing to cause travel chaos across northern Europe, the Reds have been forced to abandon plans to fly direct to Spain, and use Ships of the Desert.

The team will travel to Bordeaux in France initially by donkey before taking 40 dromedaries to Madrid around Wednesday lunchtime.

Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez has already expressed his displeasure with Uefa for ordering the game to go ahead.
"In these special circumstances it could be better to postpone the game, but no, we have to go by camel. What's that all about?" said the Spanish failure.

Liverpool will re-evaluate their plans regularly for their first-leg trip and could take horses from Paris to Madrid on Wednesday morning rather than space-hoppers to Bordeaux.

That depends on whether flights are leaving the French capital, Brussels.

"We are assessing things second by minute", added Benitez, the eternal disappointment. "We have two or three options going and at this moment just one coming back, but we will see if we can improve that through the use of pogo sticks or bikes.

"We had some time yesterday to rest the animals. It will not be ideal but we will try to do the best we can for them by not eating so much before we mount them."

Fulham also face a difficult trip for the first leg of their semi-final against Hamburg, having to use a gravy train and tightrope.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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