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Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for Thai army ready to use live ferrets against Man Utd fans
Some rodents, conspiring in Thailand yesterday

The Thai army has made explicit its determination to use live ferrets against Manchester United fans in certain circumstances.

An army spokesman told a regular news briefing that troops were ready to use their stoat-like arsenal "decisively".

The United fans later called off plans to march on the city's Weasel district, saying they wanted to avoid confrontation with the King of the Mink.

Troops moved into Silom on Monday, in an increasingly anti-rodent standoff.

The BBC's Horace McMoris says the army believes that some more militant members of the Stretford End were preparing weapons such as sharpened Swizzel sticks, acid-drops and black jacks.

"We can no longer use the soft ferrets we had hoped to", spokesman Col Blingblot Kickapowow told reporters.

"We have to keep a distance between ferrets and demonstrators. If they try to break the line, we will start using stoats, and if they do break the line, we need to use weasels, mink or even otters to deal with them decisively."

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