Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 2 March 2010

image for John Terry's Mohawk To Be Fully Grown By World Cup Opening
Before The Mohawk.

Insiders in the Chelsea and England camps today confirmed that the Mohawk haircut sported by Chelsea skipper John Terry in the defeat to Manchester City last weekend, will be fully grown by the time the World Cup kicks off in South Africa.

There was widespread speculation among neutral observers that Terry's bizarre choice of hairstyle was proof positive that the former England skipper was losing the plot and all set to go into meltdown amid sordid revelations regarding his private life. A bit like the Travis Bickle character from the movie 'Taxi Driver' who also dramatically sported a Mohawk haircut before going postal in the final reel.

However,Travis Bickle freaked out for completely different reasons to the former England skipper, and as far as anybody can ascertain, John Terry does not actually possess a small arsenal of illegally held handguns. Nor is he on a crusade to rescue a twelve year old prostitute who looks amazingly like a young Jodie Foster. Indeed, JT, as his friend calls him appears to be very popular with the ladies. Unlike Travis Bickle, who wasn't really very popular with anybody, especially all those blokes he killed.

Which prompts us to ask: What is John Terry's Mohawk about?

"It's all about defiance innit," a John Terry fan told us. "It's all about sticking two fingers up to the world and showing them that whatever they say about you, you just don't care. It's about putting a brave face on things and getting on with it. It's about letting your football do the talking and showing the whole world that you ain't bothered."

Which puzzled us. So we said so.

"If he's not bothered what people think, then why go the bother of having a Mohawk haircut to prove it?" we asked.

"Got an answer for everything haven't you?" the John Terry fan snarled menacingly. "Now go on, clear off! Before I put one on yer!"

So to JT and his fan, we say: Fair enough. You're not bothered. We'll take your word for it.

More apparent apathy as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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