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Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for The Mother-in-Law From Hell Broke Ashley Cole
Joan Callaghan turned the Coles' marriage into a celibate nightmare

London - (Prenup Mess): Having his mother-in-law on his back and on his case 24/7 virtually killed off all Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole's nuptial manhood.

Cheryl's mother Joan moved into the matrimonial home in 2008 in what must be the Premiership's weirdest menage a trois.

Ashley was made to pick up all his filthy socks, put the toilet seat down, chuck out the garbage and go on errands to the local offie at least twice a day.

And the sight of Joan's smalls drying on the bathroom radiator soon put the kybosh up any matrimonial nooky.

"He was gutted," a friend told me.

"All the spontaneity of married shagging suddenly went down the pan. He was henpecked and emasculated at the same time."

Rumours suggest that Cheryl soon reverted to fishwifery as soon as her Ma moved her stuff into the couple's multi-million pound home in Surrey.

According to insiders, during his wife's trip to LA last week Cole secretly packed all his mother-in-law's belongings into some black plastic binliners and changed the locks when she was out shopping.

London lawyers are confident a headline-grabbing divorce is probably just days away.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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