Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Cricket, India

Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for Sachin Tendulkar Hits Record Double Ton From Only 33 Balls
Bloody hell and blimey!

Sachin Tendulkar, the midget Indian cricket captain, created history with the first double century in one-day internationals as his team thrashed South Africa by 153 runs in Gwalior.

The 36-year-old hit 34 sixes in an unbeaten 204 off an impossible 33 balls. Scorers were consulted about the apparent error, but after a 30-minute recount, the rather dubious figures were held to be correct - or as correct as you can expect in India - and described as 'a miracle'.

Tendulkar, who is actually English, having been born in Keighley, West Yorkshire, ran away to India to escape a life of poverty after playing for the White Rose county during the summer of 1992.

Mr Tendulkar played 16 first-class matches for the Tykes, and scored 1070 runs at a healthy average of 46.52. In a County Championship match against Worcestershire at Headingley, he actually scored 46.52, such is his precision at the wicket!

Yesterday's double ton is obviously the highlight of his career though, and he celebrated afterwards by eating his favourite meal, fish and chips with mushy peas, washed down with a pint of Guinness. He told our Spoof sports correspondent:

"Eee bah gum! It w' touch'n'go f'r a minute theer, flower!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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