Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 15 February 2010

image for Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders To Include Men Next Season
Look at those Pom-Poms!

The Dallas Cowboys, never a team afraid of setting new trends in the game of football, will break with tradition next season when their cheerleading squad will contain "at least 7" male cheerleaders, it has been reported.

A story in the Las Cruces Bugle, a local newspaper, claims that the Cowboys have been auditioning for 'new blood' to swell its fan numbers, and to try to attract more gay members to Cowboys Stadium.

The introduction of naked cheerleaders two years ago failed to ignite the interest of supporters, and it's hoped that this new move will stir the emotions of the red-blooded Texans.

One of the cheerleader hopefuls, Dwayne Stonk, 19, told us:

"I really wanna show my stuff for the Cowboys. It's been my lifetime ambition!"

Another, the sprightly Dick Splash, 23, said:

"My pom-poms deserve to be seen on a bigger stage!"

After losing last season's divisional play-off game to the Minnesota Vikings, some fans were heard to comment that the Cowboys "played like a buncha fairies", and the Dallas hierarchy have taken this observation to heart. Owner, President and General Manager Jerry Jones said:

"What the fuck next?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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