Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 24 January 2010

image for Merseyside Cops To Police Manchester Derby
CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN!

It's just been announced that Merseyside Officers will take over crowd control duties for this Wednesday's showdown League Cup semi-final second leg tie at Old Trafford, amid fears of crowd trouble following the COMS tie last week, which City won in controversial circumstances.

Tensions have been running high in Manchester for days now, since ex United favourite Carlos Tevez scored both City goals against his previous employer, before exchanging insulting gestures with United skipper Gary Neville, whom Tevez referred to as a 'sock sucker,' a 'boot licker' and a 'moron.'

The decision to hand over control of the second leg tie to Merseyside Police was taken as intelligence reports confirmed that most Greater Manchester officers were either diehard reds or blowhard blues, leading to fears that officers could abandon their posts and join in with any fighting between rival fans which may occur.

The feeling among senior police officials was that Merseyside Officers were much more experienced at telling agitated individuals to 'calm down' and would provide highly visible hate figures for Manchester fans to focus on, rather than each other.

A planned pre-match show featuring outspoken City fan and ex-Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher in Piccadilly Gardens was called off yesterday on police advice.

The tension in the air in this city is palpable.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 2?

6 15 5 20

Go to top ^