Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 19 January 2010

image for Romo Reconnects with Simpson for 2010 Season
Less bouncing from Simpson, more hand exercises for Romo in 2010

With disastrous results from the 2009 NFL playoffs still looming in the background, Tony Romo was left to ponder what exactly had gone wrong this season. While the Cowboys franchise blamed Jessica Simpson for distracting Romo last year, Romo apparently still feels more comfortable by having Simpson in his corner of the owner's box for 2010.

Simpson couldn't be reached for comment on Romo's offer, which is good because the news department is still tired of explaining why Chicken of the Sea cans contain tuna instead of chicken, but her aide said that "she was jumping up and down for joy". The traffic outside her home came to a complete standstill during the event.

Romo's personal massage therapist, Ruby D. Kneebalm says, "He never had butter fingers with Jessica at his side. This year it's all he can do to hang onto the ball". When asked about any physical dexterity changes to Romo's ability this year, Kneebalm replied, "Well, last year he definitely had the tools available for better hand exercises". Kneebalm held up both hands facing forward in a squeezing motion to illustrate the point.

"We're all endowed with certain inalienable rights", said the prophetic Kneebalm. "Tony is endowed with a gifted throwing arm, and Jessica is just endowed".

The stadium is being prepared for Simpson's return, including dark tinting being placed on the windows of her private box. "The management wants to make sure Romo can't see Jessica bouncing up and down in the box this year", said Kneebalm.

The Romo-Simpson romance is expected to blossom in Dallas during the get-off season.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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