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Wednesday, 13 January 2010

image for Liverpool Fans In No Mood To Forgive Hicks Jr E-Mail
Mersey Ferry Approaching Dover Yesterday.

"Blow me, ****face. Go to hell. I'm sick of you."

The above is a facsimile copy of an e-mail sent to a Liverpool supporter by Tom Hicks Jr, son of Liverpool FC co-owner, Tom Hicks, in the early hours of Saturday.

The overheated response came in reply to legitimate concerns raised by a troubled Liverpool fan, and although Hicks Jr made a full apology, many reds fans aren't quite prepared to forgive and forget.

At least not yet.

"This is outrageous, unwarranted, and scandalous behaviour," Mickey McWhack, chairman of Liverpool supporters' group 'The Sinking Ship' told us. "So he apologised. So what? The guy is an idiot. Hicks and Gillet promised us the moon when they bought the club, world class players, a new stadium, a toe to toe battle with Man United and Chelsea for domestic and European dominance - and what have we got? Nothing."

Which would appear to be a reasonably accurate summation. As yet, no shovel has been turned regarding the new super-stadium, and it seems highly likely that should the reds fail to qualify for next season's Champions League, that Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard will be sold by the club - a nightmare scenario for Liverpool fans everywhere.

Hicks and Gillet attempted to defuse the Anfield crisis by stating that the club were in far better financial shape than bitter rivals Manchester United, a claim which independent observers hold up to ridicule.

"Hicks and bloody Gillet?" Mickey McWhack snorted as he left to lay flowers at the Shankly Gates for no apparent reason. "Best bloody comedy duo since Laurel and bloody Hardy. Bloody Yanks? I've shit 'em."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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