Written by Jalapenoman
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Tuesday, 5 January 2010

image for Washington Redskins Hire Mike Shanahan As New Head Coach
Even the mascot is praying that they can finally win a few games

Mike Shanahan was announced this morning as the new head coach of the Washington Redskins. The team, which has had 119 head coaches under owner Dan Snyder, announced that Shanahan would begin work immediately to rebuild the former once proud dynasty.

Shanahan was previously the coach of the Denver Broncos for many years and won two Super Bowls with the team. He said that he would have the Redskins competitive as soon as "I can coax John Elway and a bunch of my old Orange Crush players out of retirement."

Elway at 66 years old did not hear the phone ring when Shanahan called, however, and said that he would be sure to put in his hearing aid in case his old coach called back.

Snyder did announce that Shanahan would only be given a two year contract, because "I'm tired of buying out the contracts of all of these crappy coaches and losing my ass on these things."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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