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Topics: Tiger Woods

Friday, 1 January 2010

image for Sponsors, Charities Latest To Get Screwed By Tiger Woods!

Sponsors, PGA planners, hotels that depend on their golf tournaments for a lot of their yearly income and several charities say that they are the latest to be screwed by Tiger Woods.

"Sure, those women may get their funds for keeping their mouths closed, after the fact, but we in the hotel business here in Palm Springs are royally screwed by cancellations after Tiger announced that he is indefinitely on leave while our Bob Hope Classic is scheduled near the first of 2010", stated Ken Maples.

"It has also hurt the charities that it helps to support", stated a representative of the Bob Hope Gold Charity that helps youngsters to afford camp from the inner cities."

The people in charge of the early tournament in Hawaii were quoted as saying the same thing.

"Most people come out to see Tiger Woods. Several other golfers have fans here but none like Tiger Woods", stated a hotel owner in Hawaii. "Even if he comes back for the Masters or another of the Big Four, we are already royally royally screwed!"

"Yeah", John Daley is reported as saying. "Tiger never even gave these guys any Ky-Jelly...Buuuurrrppp! Aaaahhhh!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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