Written by Topkkat
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Monday, 9 November 2009

image for Henry Cooper fights champion David Haye
Champ David preparing for the bout

Fresh from promoting the aftershave Brut, veteran boxer Henry Cooper will once again step into the ring.

Our 'Enery, undefeated in 30 fights, will take on the new WBVBA Champion David Haye in a charity match to raise awareness of the Donking, said to be almost extinct.

Cooper, 81, and weighing just 10 stone said he was ready:

"I've been training hard. I know David's tasty with his fists but I've still got some tricks up my sleeve. And if the worst comes to the worst and I get put down, I can always bring myself round again with a sniff of Brut. That stuff's a knock-out and it's good for cleaning the cooker too. Strips everything off - including the enamel."

Never mind the cooker though, the real heat will be in the ring. Such is the buzz that the fight has tempted some other big names to come out in support.

Broadcaster Harry Carpenter said: "I can't confirm it but I understand that Joe Bugner himself may there be on the night."

Such a big name would certainly add to the prestige surrounding the Cooper v Hayemaker match which has reached fever pitch.

Stars from the boxing world and Chris Eubank are said to be lobbying for front row seats.

Chris, who lives on Brighton Beach, said: "I've put a fiver on each way for Cooper to win. And if my boy romps home then happy days, that'll be a tenner I'll have made. Not bad for a day's work."

Frank Bruno
added: "I've got my black and decker so I'm alright Jack, know what I mean 'Arry?"

Indeed but Haye, as the reigning champ, is not quite ready to relinquish his crown.

The 6'3" fighter says: "Henry's a legend but the man's going DOWN. I'm gonna pulvarise him, tenderise him then feed him to the canvas."

Cooper however is said to have reminded Haye that he's 81 years old for crissake and not to get carried away.

Haye though, in taking it so seriously, may find he's bitten off more than he can chew in fighting the 'Brut of the Boxing Ring', Flu Jab Henry Cooper.

Although tickets for the match have sold out. You can still watch the match live tonight on Sky Sports.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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