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Tuesday, 15 September 2009

In a strange and almost noble gesture Emmanuel Adebayor's brother has tonight attempted to cause even more controversy during a single football match and take some of the heat off the Manchester City striker.

Colin Adebayor, 19, currently on loan at Chutton Utd F.C, will spend tonight in a police cell after been arrested following the Southern Chupa-Chup Cup game against Pipworth Town which had to be abandoned after just 6 minutes.

The young Toga midfielder, who is lovingly known to the rest of the Adebayor family as "num nuts", began the game as he meant to go on by being booked for removing his shorts and pants and parading them around on his head.

Once back in his kit he reportably began chinese burning any Pipworth player he could get near while the referee's back was turned, which has led to one of the opposition, Ted O'Foolduggary 47, being hospitalised for minor skin tearing.

But it was in the 6th minute that the real events started to unravel. Chutton F.C were awarded a corner, and as the cross came in Adebayor was in the middle of describing to the Pipworth keeper how he planned to sodamise his cat, the ball hit the Togan on the back of the head and went in.

Adebayor, seizing his oppotunity ran the whole length of the pitch, in what is fast becoming known as the Togan dash, towards the two away fans of Pipworth Town. He celebrated shamelesly in front of them before sensing some hostility, jumped into the small stand and began brawling with what turned out to be two elderly women.

Lukily for the pair, a local policeman witnessing the events, piled in and seperated the footballer from the heavily bruised elderly couple and arrested Adebayor on the spot for ABH.

After the match was abandoned, manager of Chutton Utd, Ex Ipswich Town reserve goalkeeper Clive Baker said: "Basically the lad hasn't been quite right from the start, but in the last few days after the incident with his brother Emmanuel, he's been locked up in dark room watching Peppa Pig DVDs and living off Toffee Crisps, not the best preperation for a big Cup game I can tell you".

In a statement released from his lawyer, Colin Adebayor said: "In the mighty nation of Toga this is part and parcel of the game, please leave us Adebayors alone, you're all taking it too seriously"

Mr Adebayor is expected the face either a prison sentence or community service for his actions. The fixture will be re-arranged for next Tuesday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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