Written by thebtman
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Friday, 17 July 2009

image for Lance Armstrong had secret heart fitted

Paul Kimmage has been digging deep into the operations carried out on Mr Armstrong during his cancer treatment. Its been revealed by a previous employee of the cutting edge cancer treatment centre that Lance was not just keen to try previously untested drugs, but also engage in what was to become a major factor in his cancer recovery and his drug free amazing performances, particuarly during the Tour de France. The employee reported to Paul Kimmage that they had a chance to install a whales heart inside Lance and that although Lance was initially sceptical that such a thing could be done safely, he decided in the end to cut his losses and give it a go.

The end result is the powerful Lance Armstrong we see today. not just a human heart, but also the massive turbo charged heart of a whale, giving him drug free performances to beat all the other riders, whether they are drug free or not. Its also been reported that Lance has been spending alot of time on a beach near his house.

Paul Kimmage was keen to state that he wasnt able to interview the whale for obvious reasons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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