Written by Grant Jones
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Wednesday, 15 July 2009

image for Ferguson opens lid on this summers bizarre transfer policy!
Another rubbish footballer celebrates a transfer to United.

In a world exclusive, The Spoof today got an inside view, courtesy of Sir Alex Ferguson, into Manchester United's somewhat baffling summer transfer policy of selling top players and buying 'fodder'. After chewing frantically through a years supply of gum and bemoaning the lack of quality whisky available at his local off license, Fergie contributed the following;

"We had a key policy this summer, which following the Tevez affair, was to avoid any further embarrassment at the hands of Manchester City. We couldn't be seen to be losing out on any more players to City, so the best way of ensuring this was to target complete and utter shit that Hughes would never contemplate signing, which so far, I think we have done successfully!"

When questioned further on the obvious embarrassment of defeats to City in the league next season as a result of these transfers Fergie stalled before conceding this may have been a slight flaw in the plan, before adding "but we could always blame the pitch, or even the referee, that always works!".

Our final question to Fergie was how he would counter a City bid for Lionel Messi, widely regarded as the worlds finest player. "We'll go for Kazim-Richards" came the reply...


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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