Written by Earl Grey
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Tuesday, 14 July 2009

image for Teenage Manchester United Striker Stolen
Macheda In Happier Times

Manchester United's striker problem worsened yesterday when it was announced that Federico Macheda had been stolen. It is believed that two men broke into his house and stole the young striker while he slept.

Police have begun their investigations. They believe that the two men were foreign, one Spanish and the other French. There was a nasty moment when the Spaniard crashed into a table and broke a vase. The Frenchman said it was ok, as he did not see anything at the time as he was in an unsighted position.

If a ransom request comes in there could be complications. Sir Alex Ferguson has already said that he will not spend any more money. This could leave Macheda in limbo.

Detective Inspector Dick Phillpot said "If anybody knows anything could they please come forward. This lad is very young. He will be scared. The criminals responsible are clearly desperate men."

If you have any information contact Alderly Edge Crimestoppers on 0800 999 666

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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