Written by Blazing Saddle
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Topics: F1

Monday, 15 June 2009

image for F1 rules change bombshell
Ferrari 2010 (the 4th wheel is a mockup)

In a staggering reversal of the basic principle of motor racing Bernie Ecclestone, the centenarian F1 boss has planted the goalpost firmly in new territory.

"Not only will we be installing energy recuperators in the 2010 season's cars, we will also change the chassis design rules in favour of 3-wheeler configurations" says Ecclestone.

Energy recuperators will improve F1's green credentials and the change to 3-wheelers will bring innovation to the grid.

Ecclestone's eyes light up with passion - "Imagine a starting grid including Reliant, Bond and Morgan"! He goes on to speculate on potential lap times - "I wouldn't be surprised if we increased them by at least 50% by these measures alone"!

There are also plans to revolutionise the pits. There will be only one garage, to be used by all teams. The body jacks are to be replaced by commercial type car jacks and are to be stored, one per racing car, under an old carpet, dirty football gear and 6 full Co-op carrier bags, in the car boot.

The jack handle is to be missing but a large Phillips screwdriver may be used in its place.

Refuelling is to be banned - this will encourage economical driving, Ecclestone explains.

When invited to comment, the Ferrari boss Stefano Domenicali said "I have been lobbying hard to achieve these changes. For too long the wrong teams have been winning races. Mr Ecclestone is a man of great vision and his 3-wheeler concept should ensure Ferrari victories". Domenicali then shuffled off attempting to hide a jack handle under his team jacket.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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