Written by Monkey Woods
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

image for Gareth Barry To Earn £80,000-A-Week
Shoe shine, Sir? £1,000 please

There was extreme anger tonight in a West Midlands living room, when it was discovered, by listening to my radio, that the England midfielder, Gareth Barry, who has left Aston Villa for Manchester City, will be earning around £80,000-a-week at Eastlands, which is an absolute disgrace.

Barry, who was the subject of long and protracted transfer talks with Liverpool at this time last season, had already told Villa boss Martin O'Neill that he wanted to leave Villa Park in order that he might achieve his ambition of playing in the Champions League.

It came as a great surprise, then, when the idiot went and signed for Man City, who, if they play like they did last season, will be lucky to avoid relegation next time around, let alone contending for a European place.

Barry had also said that he wasn't motivated by money, which is a laugh.

To think that, in these dark times of recession, a slightly-better-than-mediocre footballer like Barry can command huge sums of this nature, when all over the country - and especially in the Midlands, where the car industry is crumbling - people are suffering redundancy, unemployment and having their homes repossessed because they can't afford to pay their mortgages, defies morality.

Earlier this year, Man City had a £100million transfer offer for Kaka turned down by the Brazilian himself, which is probably a good job, because that would have been a right kick in the teeth for hardworking Mancunians for whom, the thought that some Latin bloke who kicks a bit of leather around for a living was going to earn more in one week than many of them would have earned in a lifetime, might have been hard to take.

Even Steven Gerrard, the overpaid Liverpool captain, only earns £100,000-a-week, and Barry isn't fit to shine his shoes.

Although, if he did, he'd probably charge £1,000 for it.

Villa fans reacted to the news with disbelief. One we spoke to said:

"I can't believe it!"

LATEST: It's now being suggested that Mr Barry has been offered a £100,000-a-week salary. I wish my salary could increase by £20,000-a-week in the blink of an eye!

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

7 18 10 8

Go to top