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Monday, 1 June 2009

image for Gazza hired as official crier for Arsenal footballer Andrey Arshavin
Andrey Arshavin considers his future

There is breaking news that Arsenal footballer Andrey Arshavin can't survive a tax rate of 50% on his £4million a year salary.

Although he earns in a week the equivalent of two nurses' annual salary, it seems that he really can't afford to live on a measly £80,000 a week when his salary is going attract a tax rate of 50%. Actually, he really doesn't know how he will manage at all now, as he is now down to his absolute last few millions.

Having searched, without much success, the length and breath of London to find some members of the public who would cry for him, he has resorted to employing the services of Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne to cry on his behalf. In
fact, while wandering the street of Brixton looking for his crier, a Big Issue seller shouted at him "Big Issue Sir!", and Arshavin sold him 30 copies.

There were also fears expressed about him walking down the streets of Brixton and facing-off street gangs with knives, because there could be nothing worse than a gang member cutting their Arshavin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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