Written by Ricardo Fromage
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Friday, 15 May 2009

image for Police hunt for 'Lucan' Rosicky
An injured footballer yesterday

The Metropolitan Police serious crime squad have launched an international man-hunt for the former Arsenal footballer Thomas Rosicky. Apparently they received phone calls from Arsenal fans claiming that he hadn't been seen for more than a year but was still obtaining money by deception from the Arsenal Bank account.

This fraud is being disguised by showing the under the injury table payments as 'wages' in club accounts. However, it is clear that Rosicky hasn't been near a football in the last 12 months let alone done anything that could be deemed work.

Police are starting their search in London as Rosicky may have been seen shopping with John Terry's mum although no money was spent in the any of the shops.

An interesting sideline to this story is the rumour that Rosicky is in fact, in Cuba, at the treatment centre that featured in that James bond film with Halle Berry in it.

Apparently he is seeking a medical solution to the problem with his legs, which appear to be made of biscuits.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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