Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 3 May 2009

image for Birmingham City Chairman Gold Speaks Out
Do your research, mate!

Birmingham City were promoted back to the Premier League this afternoon after their 2-1 victory at Reading, with their chairman David Gold telling fans that, not only was he the chairman, but also the club's biggest fan.

Well, not really their biggest fan.

Last week, on Radio 5 Live's Saturday Weekend Breakfast programme, Mr Gold was involved in an interview with resident sports presenter Phil Williams, a staunch Aston Villa supporter. During it, Mr Gold told Williams that:

"We've never won anything."

Williams, not that much of a football historian, asked:

"Really? Never? Are you sure?"

Gold, who used to sell buttons, cards and sweets, replied that he thought so, but seemed embarrassed to learn that Birmingham had, in fact, won something when they were victorious in the League Cup Final in 1963, beating, of all teams, Aston Villa 3-1. How could he not know that?

They've also finished top of various leagues five times in their history, as well as winning the somewhat less prestigious Associate Members Cup twice, and even enjoyed several European experiences during the late 1950s and early 1960s.

Mr Gold apologised to fans, saying that was before his time in charge. He said:

"That was before my time in charge."

Oh, that's alright, then.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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