Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 19 April 2009

image for Manchester United's Dimitar Berbatov - Premier League's Most Arrogant Player
Berbatov recently seen arrogantly wearing a dress

It was there for the taking! A Wembley FA Cup Final appearance, the glory of silverware and a Cup winners medal to boot! All he had to do was slot the ball past Tim Howard. But then...

Dimitar Berbatov, Manchester United's record £30million signing, ambled casually up to the penalty spot as if he was out for a stroll after his tea, and trundled the ball up to the feet of the Everton goalie, and, from then on, it was easy pickings for the Toffees.

The game had ended 0-0, and after extra time, it had to be decided on spot-kicks. After Tim Cahill missed the Blues' first attempt though, they made no more mistakes and ran out 4-2 winners.

The Merseysiders couldn't believe their luck at facing such an under-strength United team, and took their chance gratefully. Boss David Moyes congratulated his players for their performance.

As Berbatov left the field to jeers from the massed ranks of United fans, he simply shrugged his shoulders, as if he couldn't give a toss.

Callers to Radio 5 Live's 606 show were scathing in their criticism of Berba, one labelling him "workshy", and another told Alan Green:

"He's not fit to wear the United shirt!"

After the game, Reds' manager Sir Alex Ferguson chewed voraciously on a wasp as he spluttered out excuses for the defeat, naming his Bulgarian striker:

"...an arsehole, a lazy bastard and an arrogant scrote!"

Or, at least, I think he did.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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