Written by Earl Grey
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Friday, 3 April 2009

image for Wayne Rooney Admits "I Love Harry Potter"
Normally children read these books

Wayne Rooney has admitted that he loves Harry Potter and wants to play with his magic wand. "He's just so cute. I wish I could have gone to Wizard school and met Harry. I wish I'd never been a footballer. I love Harry."

These revelations could further derail Manchester United's push for glory. Following recent poor results the last thing Sir Alex Ferguson needs is an infantile striker worrying about his love for a fictitious character. Asked if he thought Rooney had simply read one of the books and was imagining things Ferguson replied "Read a book? That's a good one. Listen none of these lads have read any books. Well ok Gary Neville read Das Kapital once. But Wayne? Never."

There are concerns that Rooney will react badly if commentators refer to team mates as "the Welsh Wizard" or "the Wizard of the wing".

JK Rowling was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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