Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Basketball, NCAA

Thursday, 12 February 2009

image for NCAA Selection Committee Announces New Guidelines for Basketball Tournament
Who do you pick for this year's Final Four?

The NCAA selection committee, the group responsible for picking and seeding the men's and women's basketball tournaments, has announced new guidelines for this years 64 team March Madness field. Chuck DeFry, executive secretary for the group, made the following statement at a press conference.

"We are tired of everyone complaining about the teams that didn't make it or the bubble teams that didn't get in. At the same time, we are also tired of the whining about how many mid-majors or second teams from unimportant conferences get passed over for at large bids."

"This year, we've decided to do what we always wanted to anyway; ignore the noise. We want this to be just our tournament, so we are only inviting teams from our super conferences, like the ACC, the Big East, the SEC, the Big Ten, the PAC-10, and the Big 12. We'll take one team from either Conference USA, the Mountain West, or the WAC. We'll also take Gonzaga, since everyone seems to like them. If anyone runs the table and goes undefeated, we'll kick out Gonzaga and take them instead. Otherwise, everyone else is screwed."

"How many people really care about teams from the SWAC? Who in this country knows what IUPUI stands for? Does anyone really care about some country bumpkin school from the sticks?"

"Hey, it works for the BCS! It can work for us."

"As far as the women's tournament is concerned, ....who cares? Nobody watches them nappy headed ho's anyway!"

Have fun filling out your brackets!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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