Written by Factus Factorum
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Topics: Rugby, Italians

Thursday, 5 February 2009

image for Italians planning a gay old time in the Rugby Six Nations
The Italians getting stuck into each other in a recent training match

The Italian Rugby Football Union, has announced a 30 man squad of completely GAY players for the start of this weekend's Six Nations Championship against England, throwing the tournament into disarray.

Bernie Bollocki, Head of the Federation said "We figured if we put out a gay 15 our opponents will be so paranoid that we'll win thew whole damn thing!"

The head of the Tournament Archie Mcfurk admitted he was stumped by the decision. "There's nothing in the rules that prevents a team from being completely gay, but come on its not exactly cricket is it?"

Indeed it isn't and it has since been pointed out to him that it is in fact Rugby Union.

The Italian squad all went out shopping together in Milan on Thursday. Captain Paulo Fillminini couldn't contain his excrement...err...excitement. " oh we had so much fun we all got some lovely white Cashmere scarves for the occassion at Twickenham!!" Oh but The Body Shop only had a handful of jars of Coco Butter we almost formed our own ruck there and there!"

Scrum half Giorgio Donharmi issued this warning to England. "We are good at handling balls and can move very fast between the lines, once we get stuck in England will definitely feel our presence. I really hope Josh Lucy plays he has such a lovely name and soft hands!"

Fillminini admitted there were some problems to overcome....."we can't decide between wearing blue headbands and white wristbands or the other way round..what do you think?"

England though refused to be intimidated. "We may feel a bit nervous when it comes to the first scrum down but we'll be as hard and solid as we always are...said Steve Borthwick his voice slowly trailing off.

England's Danny Care echoed the sentiment..."don't worry we'll all be up for the Azzurri....." there was a long pause then he quietly left the press conference...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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