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Tuesday, 27 January 2009

image for Redknapp faces 'Investigation'

Deputy Dawg Doppelganger 'Happy' Harry Redknapp is facing an investigation into his apparent addiction to 'unsettling' premier league footballers.

Jermaine Defoe returned to his former club 'Spurs following Harry's taking over as manager there. Upon leaving his, and little Jermaine's, former club Portsmouth, Harry allegedly took tiny Jermaine's 2009 Hollyoaks calendar with him. This immediately unsettled the diminutive Defoe who, upon hearing his prized calendar was now hanging in the sparse Spurs trophy room, immediately decided to return to White Hart Lane, where he has stated his desire to settle for the rest of his playing career.

Current Liverpool striker Robbie 'massive flop' Keane is another player who has fallen prey to Harry's 'unsettling'. Harry's very public and rather suspect declerations of admiration for Keane have apparently caused the Irishman to no longer feeling comfortable in Liverpool. Indeed a Liverpool FC spokesman confirmed this by saying 'Robbie is the very opposite of settled at the moment'.

Pascal Chimbonda is another who has recently returned to play for Tottenham Hotspur, apparently wooed back to the club by a series of late night phone calls made to the player by Harry in which Mr Redknapp repeatedly told the Frenchman that 'Chimbonda' is his favourite word in scrabble. This clear breach of the rules of scrabble has caused some commentators to opine that this points at Mr Redknapp's worrying lack of respect for authority.

Of even more concern is that it is believed by some that Harry's penchant for 'unsettling' is also affecting his private life. Unfounded reports are doing the rounds that Harry is constantly hiding son Jamie's Wii remote control in an attempt to create tension in his son's seemingly perfect homelife with wife Louise and their children. A reporter spoke to Jamie last night to see if there was any truth in the reports but all Jamie would say is that he didn't have time to talk as he was trying to get the kids to go to sleep, admitting that he and Louise were having difficulty in getting their children to settle down for the night.

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