Brazilian football star Kaka today announced he was joining Forfar Athletic for £300 million.
The A.C.Milan player said: 'All my life I wish to play in England, is not the money, though the £300 million will buy me some good coffee. I respect Forfar, and only wish to play Forres Mechanics and Peterhead every week.'
Some were surprised at Kaka's move, and wondered if this was either an April fool's joke or just his agent getting him into the news to get a pay rise at Milan, but Kaka denied this. 'I deny this', he said, 'all my life I wish to play in England, is not the money ...'
Forfar are also planning to sign Didier Drogba and David Beckham - 'but only if we sell more pies this week', their manager Harry Rednose said. 'Lucky our home crowds now top 300,000, or we might just be out of our league a bit in signing such players.'
A.C.Milan are hoping to leave Serie 'A' and join Scottish League Division Three, to try and persuade Kaka to remain at the club.