Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 31 December 2008

image for Stoke City Unveil New Sponsor: The BNP
Stoke City shirt 2009/10 (BNP logo to be added)

Stoke City football club, currently languishing precariously in 18th place in the Premier League, and undergoing something of a crisis at the moment, have unveiled their new shirt sponsors - the British National Party (BNP).

Stoke, in the Potteries, is a BNP stronghold, and presently has nine of its members on the local council. Support for the party is growing in the area, and the BNP is more popular now that it has been for more than 70 years, since the days of the Fascist, Oswald Mosley.

The Potters were taken over by the current Icelandic owners in 1999, and ever since, have had a decidedly Aryan outlook to their game. Just last weekend, Stoke striker Ricardo Fuller, himself a Jamaican, lashed out at team captain Andy Griffin, thinking, incorrectly, that he was a relative of the BNP leader, Nick Griffin.

Sensing an opportunity for some cheap advertising, the BNP approached Stoke with a view to becoming their new shirt sponsors for next season. It would seem it's a marriage made in heaven, as even Stoke's Britannia stadium sounds like the perfect place to hold a BNP rally.

The new shirt is a break with tradition for Stoke fans. Gone are the clubs trademark red-and-white stripes, in favour of a Union Jack-style design that celebrates Britishness, whatever that is.

The BNP logo will be emblazoned, tastefully, across the chest.

Nick Griffin looked rather smug with himself as he told our reporter:

"We are pleased and honoured to offer our support and representation to Stoke City, bearing in mind the fantastic reception the Party has received from gullible locals in recent times." *

* This might not happen, Stoke fans, but then again, it just might.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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