Written by Rust Never Sleeps
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Wednesday, 3 December 2008

THE ARSENAL manager, Arsene Wenger, was unable to explain his youthful sides defeat to lowly Burnley in tonights Carling Cup quarter-final clash at Turf Moor.

When asked if goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski should have done better after he spilled the ball leading up to Kevin McDonald's first goal, Wenger said "I did not zee it as I was watching a DVD of a Patrick Vieira sending-off offence I didn't zee in 2002".

Wenger went on to admit that he hadn't actually attended tonights match and, although he may have appeared to be looking slightly concerned on the touchline, he was actually sitting at home compiling evidence to appeal against Ray Parlour being given offside in the build-up to a rare Lee Dixon goal against Southampton in 1999.

When a Rust reporter asked Wenger who the lookalike on the touchline was, all he said was "I cannot answer as I did not zee him".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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