Written by Warren Redlich
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Sunday, 30 November 2008

image for Plaxico Burress Loses Endorsement Deal
This little fella went through Plaxico Burress and his career.

New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress lost out on a lucrative endorsement deal as a result of his recent troubles. The shooting in a New York City bar caused toothbrush maker Aural-C to exercise an out in the contract.

Company spokesman Donald T. Rump said the shooting was: "the last bristle on the brush. It's one thing for the guy to be a loafer and general screw-up. That fits well with our target market. But shooting yourself just goes too far."

The Plaxico Burress toothbrush deal was announced earlier in the season after Burress was suspended for more minor issues. Some speculate the latest incident may be enough to mean the end of his career with the Giants. The team did struggle without Burress Sunday against the Washington Redskins, though they did manage to win handily with Eli Manning's best passing performance of the year.

Burress' agent is said to be working on other endorsement deals for the star, including anti-psychotic medications, criminal defense lawyers and bail bonds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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