At a hastily arranged press-conference, the English Football Association (FA) announced that Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin would be leading the much maligned Wives And Girlfriends (WAGs) of the England national football team. Palin fresh from her disastrous U.S Presidency campaign as Senator John McCain's running-mate, will be joining the WAGs at a time when their popularity has hit rock bottom following heavy criticism from husbands and boyfriends.
England Football manager Fabio Cappello was quick to heap praises on Palin. "Sometimes in life and football you have to hold open the possibility of magic. People can come from nowhere, with modest backgrounds and very short résumés, and yet be individuals maveriks of real gifts, gifts that had previously been unseen, that had been gleaming quietly under a bushel, and are suddenly revealed. Mrs. Palin came, essentially, from nowhere. The WAGs have also come from nowhere and some might say heading nowhere."
As part of her transition team Victoria Beckham (married to the outgoing England Midfielder - David Beckham) has been hired as her chief of staff. Asked what made Palin qualified to lead the WAGs Victoria replied: "Well her shopping credentials are up there with the best of them. She spent $150,000 on clothing during the Presidential campaign, which is very inspirational to all WAGs. She also gets on very well with the soccer moms"
Speaking via video conference Palin was quick to add that "Hi y'all I will not be taking any of your questions but Victoria just want to sing out loud Tonight we rule the world, beware cos here come the WAGs, WAGs, WAGs, WAGs, WAGs."
"Be assured that I am no longer a hockey-mum so there will be no conflict of interest, because those so called hockey-mums failed to vote for me so I feel no affinity to them."
"I would just like to give a shout out to the average Joe's and the Joe Cole's in England. Y'all know the difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? Lipstick
God bless y'all".
Asked to comment on the claims that Palin is now able to see Scotland from her house, a Scottish Football Association spokesperson commented "this mean sweet FA to us. But if it is true then we are in trouble"