Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 1 November 2008

image for Tottenham Win Again Under Miracle Manager
Praise the Lord!

Miracles do happen! Last Saturday they enticed Harry Redknapp away from his 'spiritual home' at Portsmouth; on Sunday they beat Bolton; Wednesday saw them claw back a two-goal deficit to draw 4-4 at Arsenal; and tonight the mighty Tottenham Hotspur beat previously unbeaten Liverpool 2-1!

Yes, it was like a scene straight out of the OT (that's Old Testament, not Old Trafford!) as Spurs swept Liverpool aside, and parted their defence as if they were waves on the Red Sea.

After Dirk Kuyt had given Liverpool the lead, a Jamie Carragher own goal levelled things up, before Roman Pavlyuchenko tapped in late on to give Spurs all three points, and haul themselves off the bottom of the Premier League.

Tottenham's complete change of fortune has been nothing short of a miracle, and has coincided with the arrival of Redknapp from Portsmouth, which has earned him the nickname of, not Messiah, but Moses, leading the Israelites on their journey to the Promised Land of Mid-table security.

Gnarled and well-weathered, Redknapp directed operations from the touchline, and celebrated the winning goal with his hands stretched high towards Heaven, and thanked God for His mercy.

The crowd sang his praises, and one fan said afterwards:

"Glory be to God! For it is He who has sent us Harry Redknapp!"

Moses saw all of this and was pleased with the result, saying:

"Who is on the Lord's side? Let him come unto me."

All the sons of Daniel Levy rallied around Moses, who ordered them to go from gate to gate slaying the idolators. (Exodus 32:26)

The Israelites now travel to Arabia next Sunday to meet Manchester City at Middle Eastlands.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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