Written by AARF
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Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Following the match at Farsley Celtic on Saturday, the three Hucknall Town players sent-off in the first half have spoken out.

The first recipient of a red card was centre-half Gary Sucharewycz who said "The first five minutes, the ball was in the Farsley half and their centre-forward and I got bored. We started talking and found we both liked impersonations,so I gave him the best Eric Idle I've ever done, 'wink wink nudge nudge'."

He continued "I noticed out the corner of my eye,a flag go up.I was going to go over to the bloke and give him my BA Baracus 'I ain't getting on no plane, fool'." I must add this wasn't as good as the Eric Idle impersonation.

After consultation with the linesman,Gary was shown a red card,he was later heard to mutter, "I'm glad I didn't do the BA Baracus, I might have got a longer ban."

The second to leave the field was centre-forward Gary Ricketts. He commented "It's ridiculous, yes it was two-footed but I clearly took the ball.If you can only use one leg then it's no wonder they don't show octopus football on TV."

The third to leave was full-back Dan McPherson,who on reading the match report said "They said my elbow smashed into his face.What a load of rubbish,if it had have smashed into his face then his head would've landed at nearby Elland Road (the home of Leeds United)."

The afternoon was summed up for Hucknall when a fan was ejected from the ground for an act of kindness. His crime was to offer to take the linesman's guide dog for a walk.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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