Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 23 August 2008

image for Cubans Riot As James DeGale Wins Boxing Gold
Bad losers from Cuba!

British boxer James DeGale won the Olympic Middleweight boxing gold medal against Cuba's Emilio Correa today, but the big news was the reaction of Correa's fans, who started a protest in the arena which spilled over into a full-scale riot.

The bout was a bad-tempered affair, with DeGale edging home 16-14 in the final set. During the first frame, the Cuban bit the Briton on the nipple, but this manoeuvre is allowed, as many people bite each other in Cuba.

The Cuban fans though, become agitated, and started to shout. This antagonised DeGale's following, and the Cuban ambassador in London was told to leave his residence. In response, crowds of louts in Havana set fire to the British Embassy there.

Meanwhile, back at the boxing, chairs were thrown, a hot dog stand upended, and fans leered, with rugby songs being sung as the violence escalated.

The fans came into the ring, and fought with both boxers, trainers, judges and those girls who hold up the boards telling you what round it is. Even people from outside the stadium came in for a fight, and were engaged by Beijing Police who were, themselves, eager for a riot.

Speaking after the funny riot had been quelled, the Chinese Minister for Riot-Handling, Mr Li Lee told assembled members of the Press:

"Boxing is good sport! Get everything out of system!"

James DeGale is 22.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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