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Wednesday, 20 August 2008

image for Michael Schumacher becomes White Van Man and sees Red!
Former ex-formula one ace Michael Schumacher's new ride!

Former ex-Formula 1 ace, Michael Schumacher has managed to find new employment as a Courier driver in Ashford in Kent. Used to driving at high speeds, the German thought it would be the ideal job for him with the bonus that he would have a big white van -his favourite colour.

On the evening of 27th July he was driving through town when he was overtaken by a boy-racer in a Vauxhall Corsa and couldn't resist giving him a run for his money. Being a Former ex-Formula 1 ace, Schumacher has suffered flashbacks ever since he retired from F1, caused by his high-speed accidents and having seen something red flash by he immediately thought it was his older brother, Ralph in his red Ferrari.

Unfortunately, the Former ex-Formula 1 ace took a corner too sharply and collided with the security gates of a used car dealership. By a strange coincidence, the garage owner was locking them at the time; "Serves me right for trading on Sunday; I reckon God's miffed with me!" said 47 year-old Al Sellum.

Mr Sellum was knocked over onto the bonnet of his bright red Ferrari of all things. He was unhurt but became shocked when the driver got out and said he was Michael Schumacher the former ex-Formula 1 ace. "I've gotta admit he does look like the ex-Formula 1 ace and he speaks German too." said Sellum.

Michael Schumacher is a former ex-Formula 1 ace.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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