Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 16 August 2008

image for Hull City Up To Third After Player With Funny Name Scores Late Winner
The funnily-named Panthera tigris

Premiership newboys Hull City are up to third in the table after a hard-fought victory against Fulham at the KC Stadium this afternoon.

The Tigers started nervously, and went behind on 8 minutes when a Fulham player with a funny name scored with a header.

City equalised after 22 minutes when their Brazilian midfielder, who also has a funny name levelled the scores.

The balance of play, which had been with the Londoners in the first half, swung around in the second, as Hull went in search of a winner, and a first-ever victory in the top flight.

Their efforts were rewarded on 82 minutes, when a Fulham defender with another funny name gave the ball away on the edge of the 18-yard box to a Hull player with a name that sounded like he was the leader of a team of pickpockets out of a 1968 blockbuster movie starring Ron Moody, Mark Lester, Oliver Reed and Jack Wild. He crossed to a Hull striker with yet another funny name, who made no mistake, and slotted the ball home.

Asked about the vital win, Hull manager Phil Brown, whose name is about as funny as an Ethiopian famine, said:

"Aye, we've bought some foreign lads with funny names. I can't say half of 'em meself! But we're new to the Premier League, and You've Got To Pick A Point Up Or Two!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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