Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 13 July 2008

image for Dwain Chambers Breaks World Record - But BOA Still Won't Give In
...but not as much as Dwain Chambers does, apparently.

Dwain Chambers, the British sprinter banned for two years after testing positive for a banned substance, broke the 100m World Record at the Olympic trials in Birmingham yesterday, but still won't be allowed to represent the nation in Beijing, according to a BOA spokesman.

The British Olympic Association (BOA) made a statement on its website to say that Chambers, was "a nasty man who will make children take drugs".

The crowd at Birmingham applauded politely as Chambers galloped home in a time of 9.765 seconds, but there was some booing as he stood on the podium to receive his medal, and one fan threw a rotten egg, which hit an official in the face.

Chambers goes to the High Court on Wednesday in an effort to get an injunction against his lifetime Olympic ban, and told journalists he has already booked his private travel plans, as he has been told he will not be welcome to fly with the British team.

Former British javelinist Steve Backley said:

"I don't care how fast he runs, he's not going."

There was a slightly more balanced view from American double Olympic gold medal sprinter Ed Moses, however, who said:

"You can forgive all those killers in your jails, all those rapists and filthy paedophiles. Why not this black man?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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