Written by El Jefecito
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Thursday, 10 July 2008

image for Man Arrested In Manchester United Murder Case
"Man, them effin prawns!"

Brian Riggs a 47 year old unemployed man from Leatherhead, has been arrested by Greater Surreyshire Police following the discovery of the bodies of quite literally hundreds of Manchester United fans on Mr Riggs boat. He was led away by plain clothes police officers in tears from Minehead Marina by this morning.

When asked by reporters if the tears he was crying were in remorse for his victims, Mr Riggs a life-long Chelsea fan of 3 years and Keane ameteur torturer replied:

"Are you kidding? I'm crying because I didn't get chance to finish the job. There are literally thousands of virginal Manchester United fans just plump for the pot on the sandbanks and I was planning on going back at high tide with a blow torch and a bottle of Thousand Island Dressing."

Police are hopeful Mr Riggs who has a history of mental illness will be released without charge or at least under the guidance of some well meaning but ultimately irresponsible liberal tree-hugger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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