Written by Jazzy T.
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Topics: New York, Yankees

Wednesday, 19 May 2004

image for Costanza Next-in-Line to Become Yankees Owner
"This is George Costanza, the next owner of the New York Yankees!"

George Steinbrenner has hired George Costanza back again. This time the New York Yankees owner has also thrown in an extra incentive: Costanza will take over as owner of the team.

"I'm sick and tired of this wait until next season crap," Steinbrenner said at a press conference at Yankee Stadium. "So far, George Costanza is the best employee I've ever had in my 30-plus years as the owner of the Yankees, so when my time has finally come, I'll hand the whole organization over to him."

Costanza jumped up and down with glee when he heard the news. He even convinced best friend Jerry Seinfeld to jump the Mets' ship and become a Yankees fan permanently.

"George is exactly what the Yankees need," said Seinfeld. He also told Mets fans to go to hell, which angered long time fan Doug Heffernan.

"I hate the damn Yankees," Heffernan replied angrily. "And I always will, because I'm the King of Queens."

Seinfeld explained that the Yankees are a far more entertaining bunch than the Mets, and with Costanza firmly in place as owner, he'll stop going to Shea Stadium for good.

Costanza's parents, Frank and Estelle, are ecstatic about their son's new ownership of the Yankees. Frank said he can't wait to get the hell out of Queens, and also that "Finally, I can move to Florida and die a happy man."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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