Written by mumcoyote
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Topics: Health, Golf

Monday, 23 June 2008

image for PGA Establishes Mandatory Workouts for Golfers
Golf carts may be banned to help golfers workout while in competition and slim down.

After a golfer keeled over from a heart attack caused by mega-clogged arteries, the PGA announced its intent to establish a mandatory exercise regimen for all golfers. This daily workout routine is hoped to get the golfers in better shape after a report showed that the average golfer tested 30% body fat. By slimming down a few pounds, the PGA expects there to be less heart attacks.

In addition to daily workouts, the PGA is considering several rule changes. The changes being considered are a banning of caddys so golfers will have to carry their own clubs, golf carts will no longer be permitted, and food will no longer be sold or eaten on the course by the golfers.

Another bonus of more fit golfers is the competition might actual challenge Tiger Woods. Until now, Tiger has been the only golfer to even try to stay remotley in shape and no one has been able to touch him. Without the added pressure on his knees and not having to worry whether or not he would experience heartburn, Tiger was one up. But if all the golfers are in shape then golf could be worth watching.

Golf has never seriously been considered a sport, and with some mandatory cardio, people may stop laughing. Football and golf will never be in the same league and their athletes will never look the same. But at least now golfers may live longer than 65.

In addition to daily workouts, the PGA is considering several rule changes. The changes being considered are a banning of caddys so golfers will have to carry their own clubs, golf carts will no longer be permitted, and food will no longer be sold or eaten on the course by the golfers. These changes may make the PGA better and more entertaining, not too mention lean, mean golfers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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