Written by Jim Montana
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Monday, 16 June 2008

image for Tiger Woods kills Bald Eagle with golf ball
golf the killer that calls itself a sport

The U.S Open was marred Monday when Tiger Woods killed a Bald Eagle with one of his tee shots.

Woods, who was on the ninth hole, went to tee off when his ball struck the bird, followed immediately by the sound of the bird hitting the ground.

PETA spokesperson Imma Mann issued the following statement: "We at PETA are outraged by the slaughter of the symbol of our country, this is just another example of the brutality of this sport how many more animals have to suffer at the hands of this sport.

"We stood by when the grounds keeper in caddy shack went after the gopher living on the course, then there was the tragic rabbit incident, now this brutal murder of a beloved national treasure."

No word as of now as to what will be done with the bird, one theory is that the eagle will lie in repose on the buffet table at Torry Pines.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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