Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 10 June 2008

image for Ronaldo To Sign For Manchester City
Ronaldo in new City strip (artist's impression)

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portuguese diver, has shocked and astounded fans of his club Manchester United by announcing that he is to sign for their city neighbours, and fiercest rivals, Manchester City after the Euro 2008 championships are over.

Ronaldo, 23, has been the subject of intense speculation recently, not least over his loyalty, and United fans want to know one way or another:

"Is he staying or not?"

Mark Hughes, newly installed as manager at Eastlands, is keen to sign the winger, and has offered United no less than twelve City players in return for him, including Martin Petrov, Micah Richards and Mica Paris, the singer.

Also on the table are thought to be aging baldy hitman Mr Danny Mills, 46, and goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel whose turncoat dad, Peter, played for both teams.

Reds' manager Sir Alex Ferguson told worried fans on the club's internet website.

"Thaksin can offer their whole squad, stadium, training ground and tea lady, but they're still not having Ronaldo."

But Sky Blues' owner, Mr Shinawatra, speaking through an interpretor, told reporters:

"We crap, and I want make us good wid buy gay diver, even I sell all de udder player to do dat."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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