Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 5 June 2008

image for Dwain Chambers In 'Third Leg Shock'
Part of Dwain Chambers' dreaded "third leg"

Dwain Chambers, the British sprinter, is this morning involved in another cheating scandal after it was revealed the drugs cheat had tried to gain an unfair advantage over other competitors by growing a 'third leg'.

The extra limb came to light when Chambers was recently asked to provide a urine sample after appearing for Castelford Tigers Rugby League Club reserves. Officials were horrified when the player appeared to urinate out of his hitherto concealed extra leg. Head tester Donald Burke said:

"He unfolded this...leg...and peed out of it. I was stunned. I asked him why he wasn't wearing a boot on it."

Castleford prop forward Keith Higgins said:

"Aye, ah wur int' shower wiy 'im. Ah thought it wurra bit peculiar. It looked like e ad a giant tadger, but e wur walking on it."

British Olympic officials say that any evidence that Chambers has grown a third leg would automatically rule him out of this summer's Beijing Games, and may be enough to have him banned from athletics for life, but not from Porn films.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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