Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 16 May 2008

image for For Sale: Manchester City Football Club
Franny Lee's not done yet!

It might be the wrong time to buy property, but how about a football club? Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra has today put the club up for sale, with several of City's heroes from bygone times thrown in as an added extra!

The Sky Blues started the season well, but have faltered lately, and Shinawatra has decided to get rid of coach Sven Goran Erikkson, and sell the entire staff of 71 players because they aren't very good.

The hidden surprise in this little gem though, is the inclusion of various stars from yesteryear, including 1970s players Colin Bell, Francis Lee, Mike Summerbee and former captain Tony Book.

The price, thought to be £50million, would also include goalkeepers Joe Corrigan and Bert Trautmann, despite the German's advancing years. He is 84.

Bell, known as the King of the Kippax, part of the old Maine Road ground, made a comeback last season, and was on the verge of a first team appearance until an injury on his replacement hip forced him back to the Old People's Home he lives in.

Lee, known as the King of Bog Paper, is the heaviest player ever to have pulled on a City shirt, and even needed two team-mates to pull it on for him!
He currently owns a 'Lavatory Sanitorial Supplies Company' so that you don't have to use old newspaper or the bathroom curtains.

The sale of the club and its stadium is expected to attract numerous foreign buyers who have more money than sense. The property benefits from a lovely view over Manchester, is fully furnished, and carpets and curtains are included in the price.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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