Written by Norton Folgate
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Saturday, 3 May 2008

image for Time on their Side
A Stop Watch

It's official! Manchester United fans get the best value for money in the Premiership.

The average football fan watches 90 minutes plus added time, normally 3-5 minutes each game for such incidents as substitutions, injuries or other such stoppages to play. Premier League statisticians have calculated that when they (Man U) are drawing or losing, the total time added on was calculated to a net total of 74.24 hours, a little over 3 days. By allowing Manchester United to continue to play until the desired outcome (ie a win) would ultimately be achieved.

The self styled Theatre of Dreams (the public kept confusing their ground with Old Trafford Cricket Ground) is not a happy one for away teams with only Man U's arch rivals City winning there this season.

After that game, City Manager Sven Goren Eriksson complained 'that when Man U were 1-2 down, there was 38 minutes of added time. They really attacked us with the referee and linesmen going close with efforts on the City goal.

At one point when City had a direct free kick awarded against them due a Man U foul on a City player, the referee and the 4th official got into an argument as to which one of them would take it for Man U.

City managed to hang on but other teams were not so lucky.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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