Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 3 May 2008

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How interesting is the title race?

Manchester United and Chelsea go into the penultimate weekend of their titanic Premiership battle both knowing that a slip-up now could prove vital, but on the other hand, it may not be.

United face West Ham at Old Trafford today, whilst the Blues must wait until Monday for their trip north to St James Park to play Newcastle. Both games are expected to be extremely exciting.

If United win and Chelsea lose, the title race will virtually be over, since the Reds' goal difference is substantially better than that of the Blues. Should United fail to win though, or if both teams win, or if both teams draw, or if both teams lose, or, bizarrely, if both teams fail to turn up, everything would then be on the final matches next week.
Can you stand the suspense?

There has rarely been a more thrilling finish to the season, and experts have wasted no opportunity to use phrases like "neck-and-neck" and "going down to the wire".

What is certain is that goals may or may not be scored, referees may make crucial or non-crucial decisions, this weekend will turn out to be conclusive or inconclusive, and crowds may or may not be enthralled by their heroes who, it can be guaranteed, are vastly overpaid primadonnas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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