Written by bartlebysnopes
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Tuesday, 4 March 2008

image for Brett Favre Comes Out of Retirement After Only One Day, Signs Longterm Contract With Bears

Just one day after announcing his retirement, the NFL's all-time touchdown, completion, and interception leader has announced that he is coming out of retirement.

Brett Favre announced Tuesday that he would retire after 17 seasons in the NFL. During these 17 seasons, 16 of which were spent in Green Bay, Favre broke numerous records and won three MVP awards. The sports world was shocked when the aging quarterback announced his decision to retire, but was even more shocked to hear his decision to return.

Favre won't be returning to Green Bay. The future hall-of-famer is trading in his cheesehead for a set of claws. Favre signed a lucrative 10 year deal with his former team's archrival, the Chicago Bears. The deal reportedly is worth $250 million, the largest contract in NFL history. Not included in that sum are additional bonuses totaling $500 million if Favre plays for all 10 years, wins another MVP, wins a Super Bowl, and changes the spelling of his last name to Farve, which, from a pronunciation standpoint, would just make more sense.

Favre's contract clears up any questions about who will be the starting quarterback for the NFC champs from two years ago, a team that failed to make the playoffs last year. Experts had been hinting that the Bears would select a quarterback with their first-round draft pick, but now there doesn't seem to be any need.

Chicago fans are skeptical of the move, expressing an undying "hatred for the formal rival", but saying they could open up to the idea if Favre indeed changes his name and takes the Bears back to the Super Bowl.

Coach Lovie Smith was very excited about the move, saying that finally he didn't "have to pretend that he had a quarterback with potential."

Former Bears' starting quarterback and scapegoat, Rex Grossman, who sat on the bench much of last season, was relieved that he won't have to play any more. Grossman was released by the Bears shortly after they signed Favre. The ex-quarterback said, "Now I don't have to worry about losing any more. I dreaded every moment of every game. But, hey, at least I made it to as many Super Bowls as Peyton Manning has in his career."

Favre says that he is "looking forward to starting his new career in Chicago," and assured fans that he wouldn't intentionally force the Bears to lose.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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