Written by norma snockers
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Wednesday, 23 January 2008

image for 'Open' legs distraction: Maria Sharapova in M & S Knickers
Sharapova sports shorts

Blonde beauty and Russian tennis ace, Maria Sharapova has caused a storm in the Australian Open Tennis championships by thrashing Belgian Justine Henin.

Holding back the tears, Henin accused Miss Sharapova of distracting the linesmen and judges by flashing her new M & S Knickers at them.

Henin told Sheep Farmers Weekly magazine: "Normally their usual job is to watch sheep, so you can imagine the mesmerising effect those shapely thighs would have on them especially if they were looking for wool!"

Maria told me in confidence that: "Since wearing these new knickers my skill levels have risen by 25%. I am completely confident about it and I no longer get "Tennis Players Fanny" - a painful condition caused by the constant stretching and opening and closing of my legs especially on my service and my forehand stroke.

"I am so comfortable and will definitely be bringing a pair to Wimbledon with me. I want to be World Champion yet again and these will certainly help! They did want to advertise M & S on each cheek with the '&' sign in the middle but I told them that I would probably get some lewd remarks from other players, judges, commentators and my millions of fans."

Fred Gusset who invented the knickers said: "I'm delighted to be associated with Maria's bottom and if ever she needs help, I'll always give her a hand!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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