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Tuesday, 15 January 2008

image for Caine throws Allardyce off car park

MICHAEL Caine has thrown "Big" Sam Allardyce off a multi-storey carpark in Newcastle to confirm the end of the former-Bolton boss's tenure at St James's Park.

Allardyce was unhurt by the fall and was said by passers by to have dusted himself of, picked himself up and readied himself for starting all over again.

The traditional "car parking" of managers has been a symptom of the management of the 'pies for some time: the first Newcastle manager tossed off the top of an NCP was popular Coronation Street star Sir Alf Ramsey.

Ramsey denied that he had at the time been manager of Newcastle but Caine - employed on occasion as an enforcer by the St James's Park board - went ahead nonetheless.

The usual suspects have lined up as possible replacements for "Big" Sam, with Kevin Spacey offering the possibility of both the attractive football the Geordie Nation demands, and a contacts book that could soon see "Bigger" Sam Mendes shoring up the notoriously leaky back four and Cristian Slater flying down the wing.

"If that's mutual then I'm Northern Rock," Mr Allardyce is reported to have muttered after his Caine encounter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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