Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Violence

Sunday, 30 December 2007

image for Boys Will Now Be Allowed To Play Violent Games
"Bugger the hopscotch, let's have a game of cowboys and indians!"

For the past twenty years the 'nanny state', in the UK have undermined the traditional role of children - particularly the games boys are allowed to play. It got so bad that the games of marbles and conkers were considered to be too competitive and too violent. Boys were simply forced to play endless games of Hopscotch.

As they grow up they become more and more confused and start wearing makeup, perfumes and even skirts - it is portrayed to be cool to wear a sarong! Yes such boys would evolve into 'new men'.

In an attempt to change its' image Gordon Brown is going to take tough new measures and order the education authorities to toughen up boys once more. Playing Cowboys & Indians, Cops & Robbers even English & Germans (a.k.a. Tommies & Gerries) will be actively encouraged. Cap firing guns, bows & arrows, plastic truncheons, handcuffs and even King Arthur type swords will soon be on sale at toy shops.

Gordon Brown is reputed to say:

"I used to play a cowboy when I was a wee lad at St Andrews Junior School, Kirkcaldy but I soon grew out of it because I was put on an experimental fast track in Education and therefore lost 2 years of my childhood. I'm no longer a cowboy."[/i] He joked.

Children, Schools and Families Secretary Ed Balls said:

"At long last, I welcome this change in strategy. If you just look at English sportsmen who have been through the education system in the last 20 years, all of them are 'wusses'. Henman, Beckham, Lewis Hamilton need I say more? We can't even find a Red-blooded English Football manager - we have to import them. Perhaps we can now find some more competitive types in time for the 2012 Olympics?"

However, a spokeswoman for The Girl Guides Association objected to the moves by saying:

"This is a way to recruit more boys into the armed forces by 'stealth'. It will again force girls into a career of cooking, ironing and washing up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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